Torn Asunder: Recovering from Extramarital Affairs

5 Comments Add yours

1. Anonymous
   June 4, 2010
   1:45 am

   this is a very well meaning book…unfortunately, it’s based on a very flawed premise…that’s it’s most always best to confess infidelity to the other spouse. Like most advice from evangelicals, this is well intentioned, good hearted, but completely ungrounded in reality. extramarital affairs are wrong, immoral, and should be ended ASAP….no arugument there…
   but to selfishly unload the burden on a spouse who cannot heal from the scars simply adds insult to injury…literally:)…
   guess the real moral of the story, and the greatest value of this book, is to stop extramarital relationships before they get started. Realize that once that line is crossed and discovered…(and they ALWAYS are discovered), that the romance in the marriage is dead forever…sorry, that’s the cold truth. God forgives…but not scorned wives….sad…so stay faithful and work out problems before they go this far.
   couples should probably read this book together whether they’re having trouble or not….might scare the potential wayward spouse into staying faithful…..:):)
   Rating: 1 / 5
2. Anonymous
   June 4, 2010
   2:59 am

   this book is based on a well meaning, “good in theory”, but realistically horrible advice….that the wayward spouse must “confess all” to his/her mate. Wrong…very true that extramarital affairs are morally wrong and should be ended immediately – no argument there…but the pain it causes the “transgressed upon” spouse will be too great if confessed. End the immoral relationship – Seek help from counselors and friends…but never confess to your spouse….it’s a burden too great for them to bear….and it realistically (humanly speaking) it’s “unforgivable”. God can forgive…but i’ve known no cheated upon spouse that’s ever really forgiven and forgotten….the pain is too great, and the scars are too deep to ever heal. Guess the real moral here is never have an extramarital relationship to begin with. Once you cross that line and are selfish enough to dump the burden on your spouse by confessing, the romance in your marriage is gone forever….
   Sorry. there’s theory and there’s reality……this book is “theory” to suggest that there can ever be true healing….
   Rating: 1 / 5
3. Anonymous
   June 4, 2010
   4:47 am

   this book is very well meaning, but based on some very flawed advice..that the “infidel” must confess all to his/her spouse….i completely agree that extramarital affairs are wrong, immoral and should be ended immediately…but to selfishly unload that burden on the other spouse by confessing leaves life long scars that never heal. Sorry – that’s the cold truth. God forgives, but “….a woman scorned…” The advice in this book is good in theory – but not the way it works in the real world….which is usually typical of evangelical advice….
   The infidel needs to end the immoral relationship, approach the spouse about getting help for the marriage, and start the hard work of rebuilding…all that can be done without confessing all the details or revealing the affair….Bear that burden alone guys…or get some personal help from a counselor or trusted friend…but the wife isn’t the one to confess too….Guess the real moral here is to never make this mistake in the first place – once that line is crossed, the romance in your marriage is gone forever….very sad….So stay faithful!!!!!
   Rating: 1 / 5
4. Loretta M. Wengerd
   June 4, 2010
   5:35 am

   This book is very helpful for people dealing with rocky or broken relationships. With God’s help, healing is possible if people are willing to work on their relationship. Understanding what is missing in a relationship is important, and the author helps people work through that, as well as forgiveness.
   Rating: 4 / 5
5. Joy Singh
   June 4, 2010
   7:39 am

   I use this book frequently with the couples I treat in marriage counseling. It’s easy to read and helps both partners understand the “why” that sometimes stalls the progress of healing after an affair.
   Rating: 5 / 5